Now there’s a puzzle for any non-ABI person to make sense of.
Life is Complex
I chuckled when I read the post. I don’t think many people are able to summarize any moment in one word. This highlights for me that every person lives each moment with any number of nuances, making up one’s emotional well-being.
It has taken me many years to even try to understand what effects the brain injury has on me. As I was adjusting to a different life, even now, it often takes several days to reflect on what I’ve experienced to even try to find the words.
My 62 years prior to my injury is different in so any ways from how I currently experience life on a day to day or hour by hour basis. It’s been ten years of adjusting to unfamiliar and at times troubling situations.
What about you
Have you tried to put into one word how you are feeling at a particular moment?
When one thinks about that, then explaining how your day was, could fill a whole book. That might even be fascinating to read.
I was approaching an intersection on a two lane county road. There was a vehicle parked on the shoulder, so I moved over to “take the lane.” I had checked my rear view mirror and saw a car approaching slowly.
Then, to my surprise, the driver did not stay behind me. She squeezed between me and the on coming traffic.
I caught up to the motorist just as the traffic light turned green, so I followed behind her as she made a left turn, meanwhile calling out to her. I was surprised that she actually decided to stop. (I’m not sure I would have stopped with a wild cyclist coming up behind me.)
I told her that she had created a dangerous situation. She immediately interrupted me, so I let her explain herself.
She told me that she saw me and that she kept driving because she didn’t want to cause a collision. She was concerned about the car behind her rearending her.
When she had finished her explanation, I thanked her and asked if she would listen to my part. She agreed.
I explained to her that what the traffic behind her might do was not her concern because something she needed to deal with was happening in front of her. I also explained that while she had a protective cage around her, being in a car, I, as a cyclist, have no protection.
I told her that despite being a cyclist, I don’t always remember to give cyclists a wide berth when I’m driving a car. I need to be more mindful myself on occasion.
I wear a helmet, I have a flashing LED light on my helmet and I wear a visibility jacket since I don’t have a protective cage
She thanked me for willingly listening to her. She very much appreciated hearing a cyclist perspective politely explained. She was able to reassess the situation in a new light.
The real difference was:
The pickup driver kept venting, the car driver was willing to listen.
The pickup driver couldn’t see reason, the car driver was open to learning.
The pickup driver is a menace on the road, the car driver is educated on a point of road safety.
The pickup driver added to my sensory challenges, the car driver shared an understanding that was calming and reassuring.
The pickup driver added to my recovery time, the car driver helped me recover.
I think we all appreciate people who choose to live life in the consideration lane. It’s rewarding for all.
I recently had the living daylights scared out of me as I was taking a short bike ride. It happened when things around me appeared calm and peaceful.
Just before this happened, there had been a heavy flow of traffic with vehicles traveling past me in both directions. When this situation develops, drivers approaching me from behind slow down and wait until approaching traffic has cleared. Other drivers choose to move over as far as possible to the centre of the road. At times, approaching traffic will move over, giving drivers behind me extra space.
Those are the considerate and safe ways of dealing with a mix of motorized vehicles and cyclists. Minimal time is lost for drivers.
When the scary incident happened, there was no traffic congestion. I was enjoying a calm early morning ride when suddenly, a dark pickup sped past me within inches of where I was riding. The driver had a full lane to move over since there was no oncoming traffic.
I yelled out in fright and waved my hand wildly, hoping to get the driver’s attention. Surprisingly, he slowed down, hesitated, and then came to a complete stop.
When I caught up to him, I slowed down, saw that the passenger window was open and so I stopped. I figured he wanted to know why I was waving wildly.
I told the driver that he gave me no room and that the law requires motorists to give cyclists a minimum of a metre or a metre and a half space when passing. He yelled at me for riding right next to the white line when there was a whole shoulder to ride on.
I pointed out to the driver that I was avoiding the potholes and the broken up pavement. I then pointed out that I was ahead of him and so I had my spaced marked out.
Throughout this interchange, he kept yelling at me and telling me I was nuts. He told me my explanation was crazy. When he told me he hoped I would get killed, I decided I had endured enough verbal abuse and biked away.
He passed me a second time, giving me no extra space, though I was prepared to hit the ditch if need be. He then turned into a driveway not even 50 meters further.
Drivers with a sense of entitlement are the real danger on the road. Their linear thinking leaves no room for cyclists and no patience for other uses like moving farm equipment that slows down traffic.
The exchange illustrated that one can not reason with a driver who feels entitled. They do not follow logic and lack consideration and empathy for others. Entitled drivers are a hazard to cyclists, other motorists and themselves.
Reason for biking
That morning, I was feeling restless and overwhelmed, so I decided a bike ride would calm me and help me cope better as the day progressed.
With a troublesome start to my ride, I knew the benefits would be minimal. Needless to say, the day did present recurring challenges.
In the past, I would have stayed home for the rest of the day. I would have spent time gardening since there is a lot of harvesting to be done. I would be assured of not having my calming space disrupted and have a sense of accomplishment.
Instead of retreating, I made a visit to a senior friend. Late in the afternoon I attended a community BBQ. Both events put me in a better space and improved my coping ability.
I had recently read that positive social interactions are very beneficial for recovery.
Living with a brain injury does present daily challenges. I need to be prepared for the unexpected. One negative incident added to my day raises the possibility of derailing part or all of my day.
My best antidote is developing defusing or counter strategies to regain my social balance.
Living in God's Pocket with ABI 