Living in God's Pocket with ABI
Nurturing Compassion and Stewardship
You extended an olive branch,
it brought a ray of hope
alas a short-lived ray of hope.
Your actions did not change
Ignoring reminders and requests
And a leaf withered
You refuse hear me out
Trying to hide the picture that emerges
And a leaf withered
You raise your voice at me
refusing to recall recent concerns
And a leaf withered
You extend an olive branch – you say
I see a stick.
Conversing with a half dozen people is more wearing
Than biking 20 km in traffic
Participating in a worship service is more demanding
Than biking 30 km dodging rain showers
Walking into a store for a quick errand can be more frustrating
Than biking 40 km into a head wind
Listening to live music for half an hour requires more recuperation
Than biking 50 km through hilly country side
Driving for 4 hours will affect my balance more
Than biking for 60 km on a chilly day
Some activities have a way of causing neuro fatigue
While cycling rejuvenates the whole person
The physical exertion
The rhythmic movement
The outdoor ambience
Nature’s symphony;
The wind in the trees,
The call of the cardinal
The chirping of crickets
Sounds that respond to each other
Sounds that sidle up to you
Sounds that heal,
Sounds that sooth the senses
Sounds that lift one’s spirits
Being neurologically atypical, things don’t add up in a way that makes sense to others. While I am able to do certain activities with ease and experience satisfaction, there are plenty of activities that leave me challenged.
Displaced Trust
A child in turmoil,
Undermined – then supported
A confusion of emotions,
looking for approval – pulling away
A confusion of intent,
wanting support – refusing help
A confusion of direction,
preparing to release – holding tight
Struggling to find grounding.
A parent with regret,
Undermining – then supporting
A misalignment of emotions,
giving approval – then withholding
A confusion of intent,
denying support – offering help
confusion of direction,
reluctant to release – abandoning
Struggling for grounding.
O the whirring dishwasher
Usurping conversations at the sink
Replacing mechanical functions for chemical action
Spewing forth food bits and grease putrefied with suds and chemicals
A technological complexity with water levels and scrub cycle
What happened to elbow grease?
And warm hands in suds?
Salvaging food scrapes for compost
Pouring the grey water near a favourite shrub at the edge of the patio
Dishwashers designed with electronic water savers
Failing to savour the precious liquids
Stealthily by-passing the favourite shrub
The plentiful water disappearing into the vortex
Sucked down to the river or lake
The favourite shrub wilting under the noon day sun
Life giving water flushed away
Water beyond reach
Resources depleted
Abundance squandered
Where’s the flowering shrub to brighten one’s day?
Retrieve the grey water
Refresh the earth for
It’s waiting to bless you with abundance
Exchange efficiency for care
Be the dishwasher par excellence
Cajole someone to join in the task
Reminisce about the day
Dream about a bright tomorrow
Ode to the dishwasher – you and me.
My cap completes my attire
The crowning touch to
Carefully placed variegated coverings
Right down to my nether regions
Don’t fling your cap over the windmill
Thinking to measure your recklessness
There’s no caps lock for me
As cap and trade legitimizes the squandering of your birthright
Cap in hand you stand before the creator
Ego bruising, more momentous than the dunce cap
Time to remove the lens cap
To refocus your sights
The loss of my glorious ice cap
Signals a much greater demise
In my nether regions and beyond
Loss of flora and fauna
Leaving you exposed
Protection gone
Scorched by the sun
Battered by wind
Inundated by water
Water where we don’t want it
Water when we don’t want it
Preserve my ice cap
Use resources sparingly
Practice stewardship
Share the abundance
Your Tim’s Ice Cap
An unsustainable habit
Drowning you in cast-offs
Convenience exacts its due
Efficiency robs us of satisfaction
Let labours of love bring fulfillment
In the past year I have needed help
And it has fallen on you.
The additional energy you have needed
The patience you have mustered.
In the past year I have needed understanding
And it has fallen on you.
The added vigilance you have shown
Protecting me in my limitations.
In the past year I have needed advocacy
And it has fallen on you.
Clearing the way to appease my limitations
Securing concessions to ease the demands on me.
In the past year I have needed encouragement
And it has fallen on you.
Carrying me through frustrating times
Providing companionship when isolation loomed.
In the past year I have needed protecting
And it has fallen on you.
Cautioning me when I failed to see risk
Not wanting to stifle my urge to strive forward.
In the past year I have slowed you down
trimming your plans to my limitations
waiting, hoping, longing, anticipating
You unable to predict my vague timeline
In the past year you have given generously
Even when I could not reciprocate
Even when words of appreciation escaped me
Even when my setback alarmed you
When you could have given up
You persisted, living your love in action
Unconditional, unrelenting, uncompromising.
My treasure, my gem.
Lingering Shadows
The welcome expressed in a stilted manner,
in response to my initial reticence.
Helpfulness issued from your heart,
in response to a word of appreciation.
A specific compliment,
received with a rehearsed reply,
punctuated with a fleeting smile,
giving way a growing sense of ease.
Ensuring the comfort of each guest,
conveyed by intent yet undone by image.
Oblivious to the message broadcast via dress code,
focused on fulfilling anticipated and imagined needs.
Assuming the role of diligent concierge,
lacking the sheen or polish of the trade.
Wearing your intentions on your sleeve,
striving to shake your former life.
Distancing yourself from the realities of a harsher life,
not realizing the extent of the gap.
While engaged in the realm of valid employment,
the shadows of your past a constant companion.
